Two-Minute Read on What "Mindful Eating" is and Why it's Important

In a nutshell, “mindful eating” is

focusing on the food you’re eating and what you’re experiencing when you eat it.

Eating “mindfully” can:

·      Promote better digestion.

·      Help you feel full with less food.

·      Help you enjoy your meal more.

·      Help you slow down and enjoy life more.

·      Help reduce stress and anxiety.

·      Help you notice how different foods make you feel after you eat them.

·      Help you notice when you turn to food for reasons other than hunger.

·      Help you lose weight!

My biggest tip for you around mindful eating is to

avoid multi-tasking while you eat.

When you eat, are you:

·      Watching TV?

·      Making sure everyone else is taken care of (kids, grandkids, spouse)?

·      Working?

·      Driving?

·      Scrolling through social media?

·      Thinking about what you’re going to do next?

·      Worrying?

If so, you aren’t getting the best benefits from the food you’re eating AND you’re likely eating more food than your body needs (which, by the way, means weight gain).

What is your biggest challenge around “mindful eating”?  I encourage you to address that challenge in at least one meal in the next 24 hours and notice the “positives” that come from it.

Here’s to healthy eating!

PS:  I’m excited to announce that I’m collaborating with two awesome Certified Health and Life coaches.  We’ve started a Facebook Group called “Mind, Body & Jesus”.  Please join us to learn tips for a healthy mind, body, and relationship with Jesus!

Two Minute Read on "Where Your Thoughts Go, Your Energy Flows"

You are so tired of letting fate control your life and you’re ready to choose your own destination.  But you’re not sure where to begin.  Here’s a two-minute read to get you started.

The first step is deciding where you want to be and what you want to achieve

Unfortunately, our brain defaults to what we don’t want.  Have you ever caught yourself saying things like, “I don’t want this job”, “I don’t want this extra weight”, “I don’t want to be so rushed all the time”, “I don’t want to be so disorganized”, or “I don’t want [fill in the blank]?

Here’s the thing … when we focus on what we don’t want, we keep getting more of it!

It’s much more productive to think about what we do want.  But the thing is, it’s so much more difficult for us to come up with what we do want because we’re not automatically programmed to think that way.  Take a few minutes and ask yourself, “What do I want?”.  I’d encourage you to write down what you want and look at it daily because

 where your thoughts go, your energy flows.

Focus more on what you do want rather than what you don’t want and your brain will start to affect your actions.

Does this concept intrigue you?  If so, click here for a free session to help you learn how to make your thoughts your destination.

 Let’s do this together, my friend!

Seven Habit Forming Myths ... Busted

Did you set a New Year’s resolution this year? 

What?  “Why are you talking about New Year’s resolutions in the middle of summer?”, you ask!

The fact is, now is a great time to look back on your resolutions to see if you succeeded, and if not, to get curious about what might help you succeed the next time you resolve to make a habit change.

Did you know that nearly 50 percent of Americans vow to make behavioral changes in January and only 8 percent achieve their goals? 

Maybe these habit myth-busters will give you some ideas on how to make the changes you want in order to have the body, energy, confidence, and health you’ve always wanted but didn’t know where to start.

1.    You need a lot of motivation to form habits.

Bad news first … you can have all the motivation in the world and it won’t ensure you’ll form good habits.   But the good news is you don’t have a motivation character flaw if you’re struggling to build good habits.  One thing that’s more important than forming habits through motivation is having the right system.

2.     You just need to learn more about why and how you need to lose weight and that will give you what you need to change.

More bad news/good news!  The bad news is knowledge does not equal habit change.  Is there good news?  There sure is!  Action is what will take you where you want to go.

3.    All you need is a goal.  Once you have a great goal … and you’ve written it down … you’ll follow through. 

How many people set New Year’s resolutions?  In 2021, over 188 million Americans set intentions for the New Year.  How many generally succeed?  Only 8%!    That statistic busts right through the myth that all you need is a goal.  Again, what you really need is the right system.

4.    In order to create discipline and success, you need to “go big or go home”. 

Big changes are more likely to fail than small, consistent changes.  I like to say, “Small hinges swing big doors.”  Your system, or process, to make progress should include small, consistent changes. 

5.    It takes 21 (or you fill in the number) days to form a habit.

How many days have you been reminding your son to put his dirty clothes in the laundry hamper?  I’d hazard a guess that it’s been more than 21 days.  Has he created that habit?  Probably not unless you’ve made it fun for him.  I had a client who crafted her laundry basket into a basketball goal.  Voila!  Habit formed!   On the reverse, when you got your daughter her first cell phone, how many days did it take for her to form the habit of picking it up after each “ding”?  We’re probably talking seconds for that habit to form!   Habit formation is more likely to happen when you associate good feelings with the habit and is not based on the number of days you do the habit.

6.    Missing a day will hinder your progress.

You feel like if you miss a day of workout or drinking your water goal, you’ve crashed your habit loop and you’ll have to “start over” (which, by the way, sounds way too hard so you give up right then and there).  The good news is that if you miss an occasional day, it doesn’t affect the process of forming habits.  Consistency is important but if you beat yourself up for missing a day, it may have the opposite effect, which takes you one step closer to failure.

7.    If you can’t make habit changes stick, you have no willpower and/or you’re lazy.

If you feel like you fall into this category, you are not alone.  One-third of Americans say they lack self-control to accomplish goals and about one-fourth believe personal character flaws, such as laziness, attribute to sticking to a diet.  Frankly, self-control generally doesn’t direct our behaviors.   Studies show that people with high levels of discipline and self-control are simply relying on good habits and have a system in place to help them do the things that will lead them to the “who” they want to be.

The bottom line is the right system, support, and accountability is what will move you closer to the “true you” you’ve always wanted to find and didn’t know where to start.

Check out these blogs for more information or click here for a free session to help you get clarity on steps that will move you forward.

You’ve got this, my friend!

Here’s to your health!

What’s One Thing That’s More Important Than Setting a Goal?

You’ve set a goal to lose 20 pounds by that big event in 3 months.  You know, the one where you want to turn heads.

Now what?

You sorta know what to do because you’ve heard it all your life:  cut out the sugar, eat more veggies, and exercise more.  

You think about it often, but you don’t take consistent and long-term action.   Why is that?

You, my friend, have left out the one thing that’s more important than setting the goal to begin with.  You have left out the “how” or the system to help you get where you want to go.

According to James Clear, author of “Atomic Habits”, the one thing that’s more important than setting a goal is having a system in place to help you attain that goal. 

So what, exactly, does it mean to have a system?

A system is simply a process to get you from where you are now to where you want to be within a certain time frame.

Let’s take the weight-loss scenario of losing 20 pounds in 3 months as an example.  In the first couple of weeks, you might do really well and lose 5 pounds.  Then, not only do you stop losing, but in week 4, you actually gain weight.  And at some point, you weigh more than when you started.   Then, when the third month rolls around, you’ve only lost 4 pounds and you’ve lost all hope that you’ll ever be able to lose those 20 pounds.

At this point in a weight-loss journey, most people become unmotivated.  Then when demotivation sets in, we start to revert back to former habits … those habits we wanted to lose along with all that extra weight.   We may think, “If the gym isn’t helping, then why bother?”.  Or, “Just this one pint of ice cream isn’t going to hurt and might even make me feel better.” 

Then we tend to give up altogether and view ourselves as a complete failure.

Here’s the thing …

We don’t fail because we don’t have what it takes to succeed. 

We fail because we don’t have the right system.

Most health coaches would agree that what you really need to do for success is follow this 4-step system:

1.     Come up with a goal.  Get clear on what you want.  I call this your aspiration

2.     Attach actions to your aspirations.  This is where most of us fail.  There is a big difference between an aspiration and an action.  An aspiration is what you want. An action is what you’re going to do to get what you want.  If we don’t come up with specific actions to take, we won’t see measurable and long-term results. 

3.     Come up with a process.  You’ll want to identify daily habits you want to establish and determine when and how much you’ll do of each.  Then you’ll want to commit to doing those actions on a regular basis.

4.     Then, forget your goal.  Yep, that’s what I said.  Once we know our goal, identify actions, and have a process, we need to forget about the goal.  When we focus on the goal, we miss the small, motivating results we get.  When we focus on taking daily action, the world opens up to us.  We’re more likely to celebrate small victories, like 10 minutes of exercise, rather than focusing on the scale moving more slowly than we want.

Once you come up with a system, you can focus on the steps you need to take in order to follow to the process.

We can’t always control the scale, but we can control our behaviors and the habits we work to establish.  We’ll also be able to focus on our increased energy, better sleep, and those small successes.  And nothing breeds success like … well … success!

If you focus on the system and those daily actions rather than the goal, before you know it, you’ll see changes you never thought possible.

If you’re not sure what action steps and process are right for you, click here to set up a free consultation to come up with a plan!

Here’s to making the impossible possible!

The Hunger Game: Want to Learn to Play?

I’m here today to teach you how to tell the difference between emotional hunger and physical hunger by playing the “Hunger Game.”

 But first, why am I talking about emotional hunger versus physical hunger and what’s the difference?

Emotional hunger means you turn to food either to avoid uncomfortable emotions or to heighten pleasurable ones. It means you eat based on how you feel instead of what your body needs.

Examples of emotional hunger (FEELINGS):

●      Eating for comfort or out of loneliness or sadness.

●      Eating from boredom.

●      Eating to try to soothe anxious or depressed feelings.

●      Eating to fill an aching heart.

On the other hand, physical hunger means you eat when your body signals to you that you are, in fact, hungry. And it means that you stop eating when you are satisfied and before you are uncomfortably full.

 Examples of physical hunger (SENSATIONS):

 ●      Stomach growls and gets that hollow hungry sensation.

●      Body feels weak and energy goes down.

●      Blood sugar gets low and you feel shaky.

●      You feel lightheaded or faint.

So what will learning to listen to my body do for me?

It will free you from being a slave to food!

 What that means for you is that you’ll feel more in control of your eating and less dependent on food to “help” your moods and emotions.

By listening to your physical hunger signals, you can determine how hungry or full you really are. With practice, you’ll be able to pinpoint where your body is at any given moment.

By doing so, you will train yourself to stop eating BEFORE you are too full and to not turn to food when you are not actually hungry but are in fact bored, upset, anxious or depressed. Because … everyone knows that’s a vicious cycle!

 So let me show you how to end that cycle and have some fun while doing it! Enter… the Hunger Game!

How do I play the Hunger Game?

Let me first clarify that I’m not talking about undergoing top-secret weapons training to learn to “kill” off your colleagues or friend. I’m talking about a simple, helpful game that you can play all by yourself even in a busy restaurant!

 Here’s how you play the Hunger Game:

 ●      See if you can be the slowest eater at the table — no one has to know you’re playing or that you’re trying to win the Hunger Game.

●      Periodically check in with yourself throughout your meal and honor when you’re energized and satiated by completing the meal.

●      Use an end-of-meal ritual, like putting your napkin over your plate or pushing your plate away and saying (either out loud or to your self) “I’m finished” to symbolize completion of the meal

Listen to that fabulous body of yours! You’ll be surprised at what it can tell you!

Here’s to your health!

If you think you may be engaging in emotional eating and don’t know how to change it, let’s chat.

Grab one of my FREE Breakthrough Sessions.

Three Simple Steps to Overcome The Biggest Reason We Don’t Make Habit Changes

You know most of the benefits of exercising, eating healthy, and staying hydrated, right?   You’ve heard them many times … weight management, disease prevention, increased immunity, less stress, more happiness … and the list goes on and on.  But why is it so hard for you to stick to good habits?

You’re too busy, you’re too tired, you just don’t know what to do, or maybe it’s all of the above. 

It turns out there is another reason.

You’re too busy to spend time on your health, but not too busy to scroll social media. 

You’re too tired, but you know certain habits will give you energy in the long run.

You just don’t know what to do, but taking a walk, drinking an extra glass of water, and eating one more veggie a day are great places to start and you know those things.

So here’s the thing  ---  it’s a choice, not a problem of time, energy, or knowledge.  The fact is these are just excuses. 

There is another reason we don’t follow through.

So what is the reason we make the choices we make?

If we dig a little deeper, it comes down to beliefs and how we want to feel.

Simply put, we make choices because at the time, we believe it’s our best option available and that it will …

… make us happy.

We each have a set of beliefs that influence our choices, even if those beliefs aren’t on the forefront of our mind when we make those choices.

For example, what are your beliefs about exercise that determine your habits?

Maybe you believe exercise is hard and doing other things is easier and more fun.

Maybe you believe that drinking a soda instead of water will taste better; therefore, will make you happier.

Or maybe you believe eating a candy bar for a snack will make you happier than eating a piece of fruit.

(More about doing certain behaviors because of how they make us feel now vs. how they make us feel later in a future blog.)

You may not acknowledge these thoughts – most of the time they are subconscious -- but when we make choices, we are acting on our beliefs.

The bottom line is that we make decisions based on

what we believe will make us happy.

And that, my friend, could be what’s stopping you from sticking to those habits that you have been wanting to create.

There’s good news! 

Our beliefs aren’t carved in stone, but they are molded like clay.  They can be changed. 

For example, instead of viewing exercise as something hard, you could view it as something that makes you feel strong, powerful, confidant, and more energized.

You could view drinking water as a treat that will help your skin be more beautiful, help with weight loss, and make you feel better.

You could view eating veggies as a way to manage your weight, boost your immune system, and be an inspiration to those around you, especially your kids!

Here are three simple steps to help you change your beliefs so you can make those habit changes you’ve had on your mind:

1.     Take a few minutes and think about some habits you want to create.  

2.     What limiting beliefs do you have that are keeping you from creating those habits? 

3.     Think of some new beliefs to replace the old beliefs that are no longer serving you.

For an extra benefit, write down your new beliefs and put them where you can see them regularly. 

In the end, it only takes a little time to craft new beliefs and what you are really doing is creating a new you.

Taking time to throw away those old beliefs and create new ones is definitely worth the new life you’ll be creating!

I’ve heard it said many times that “The journey of life is just as important as the destination”.  I would venture to say that each day you live is your destination.  Are you living your dream destination? 

Here’s to your new fabulous beliefs!

How Small Habit Changes Can Change Your Life

You’ve tried one too many times to create a habit, only to have it go by the wayside.  Why is it so difficult?

Maybe it’s as simple as making your action steps too big.

I’m going to let my client, Sarah, tell you how she changed her life with just two pushups.

Here’s the very first email she sent me:

“Dear Debbie,

I’m going to get right to the point.  One of my friends just turned 40 and she did 40 modified pushups on her 40th birthday.  I found that so inspiring that I want to do the same.  My challenge is I only have 3 months to prepare. 

Here’s the thing:  Eight months ago I decided I could do this on my own.  I set a goal of doing 15 pushups a day and increasing it by 5 every few days until I reached 40.  That’s what my friend did.  It worked for her, why wouldn’t it work for me?

The first problem I encountered was actually being physically able to do the 15 pushups.  I’ve never had upper body strength so I was only able to do 9 “half pushups” (I could only lower half down.  Oh yes, and I was on my knees!).  So right off the bat, I felt like a failure. 

On Day 2, I dreaded doing any pushups at all because it reminded me of the failure of not being able to do 15 the day  before.  And on Day 3, I was so sore, I couldn’t do any at all.

I remember having so much going on with the kids and being so tired, that for several days, it was hit and miss.  Mostly miss.  I do remember being thankful for having an excuse not to do them.  I had completely forgotten how good it was going to feel doing 40 on my 40th birthday.   I lost my motivation and my will power …

Until someone told me I should try a health coach and your name came up.  It’s a little over 3 months until my birthday and I really do want this, to be able to do 40 pushups, as a birthday gift to me.  (And losing some weight and gaining some new habits would be nice too!)  Can you help me?

                                                                        Sarah”

There’s good news!  

Sarah did end up doing 40 modified pushups on her 40th birthday, but used an entirely different method to get there.   Creating habits by starting with small goals can be beneficial on so many levels.  A goal of 15 pushups for Sarah wasn’t realistic and it did not motivate her to continue.

When we started working together, instead of starting with a “go-big-or-go-home” goal, she started with 2 pushups. 

“If your going to do only two, then why bother?” you might ask.  Great question!

I asked Sarah if she’d be willing to share her success and here is her reply that is a great answer to that question.    

“Dear Debbie.

I want to thank you for showing me how choosing small action steps was a game changer for me.

When you first told me to start by drinking such little amounts of water, I wasn’t sure it would work.  I was skeptical.  Then when we came up with doing 2 pushups a day, I didn’t understand how that could possibly turn into 40.  But since starting at 15 didn’t work, I knew you must be on to something.   Oh, yes, and the vegetables.  You know how hard that was for me but it literally changed my life.  It all did.

When I started doing 2 pushups a day, it made me feel successful right at the beginning.  There were days I was exhausted or days with kids’ activities that before we worked together, I would not have done pushups.  But with your method, I was actually excited to do my pushups because I knew it would make me feel good and successful in the moment -- far from the old way I’ve done things.  I never would have thought I would feel good about doing pushups!  Lol 

It felt so good that I started doing more than two just because I could.  You were right in that I felt like a “super student” when I did more and it did encourage me to do extra.  On several occasions, I found myself doing pushups at other times during the day too, mostly while I was watching tv.

Within four weeks, I was doing 22 pushups every other day.   By this time, I was so motivated to do 40 pushups on my birthday that I found myself being very consistent.  I was surprised at how strong I had gotten and the difficulty of doing 15-20 pushups was like doing 2 at the beginning.  Not much effort was required.  My strength and motivation have made me a new person. 

When you asked me how my view of myself changed during this process, I immediately knew the answer: that I’m now the type of person who can follow through.  I’ve never thought of myself that way.  Thank you for that.

One of the best parts about this was I didn’t get sore.  After my first encounter with “soreness”, I was dreading it simply because I thought “no pain, no gain”.  I ended up having no pain and a lot of gain!

I’ve lost a few more pounds since our last session.  I’ve now lost 36 pounds!!  My energy level has soared and best of all, I’m still not craving sugar and bread. I’ve even gotten Scot on board.  He’s doing pushups and has lost some weight too.

When I did 41 (I did 1 for good measure!) modified pushups on my birthday, everyone was floored.  No one (except Scot and the kids) knew I had been working on this goal.  I’ve even inspired two people to do something similar for their next birthday!

Thanks so much for everything.  This program is amazing and it changed my life.  I’m looking forward to seeing what I can do at 80!   lol 

                                                                        Sarah”

You can see from Sarah’s experience how starting small changed her life.

Here are the benefits she got from creating a small habit change instead of her initial bigger action step:

·      She was able to meet her daily goal even when she didn’t feel like it.

·      Meeting her goal made her feel successful and that success caused her to want to do even more.

·      She’s gotten strong.

·      She now views herself as someone who follows through. 

·      She didn’t get sore.

·      She has more energy.

·      She’s encouraged others to take action.

·      She met her goal of doing 40 pushups on her 40th birthday.

·      Oh, and did I mention she’s lost 36 pounds!?!?  Wow!

All this … from starting out doing just two pushups a day.

What’s one small habit you can start today that will move you to the person you want to be?

If you want to get clear on the perfect habit change for you, schedule a free, no strings attached, session with me here.

Here’s to your health!

Is This Small Step Keeping You Stuck?

You’ve tried over and over to create a new habit, whether it’s related to losing weight, becoming more productive, or just putting the dishes in the dishwasher after a meal.  But nothing works, so you simply give up.  You decide you are the type of person who has no motivation and can’t follow through.  In your eyes, something is wrong with you – you just don’t have the motivation gene.

I’ll let you in on a little secret.   

It’s not you!

Researcher and author BJ Fogg says three things are needed in order to create a habit:  motivation, ability, and prompt.   In my recent blog, What if it’s the “Process” and Not Motivation That’s Keeping You From Creating New Habits?, I talk about motivation and ability and how they work together.  (If you haven’t read it, check it out here).  Today, I want to talk about the “prompt”.

A prompt is a cue that causes you to perform a certain behavior.  You must have a prompt in order to take an action.  For example, you walk into a dark room and turn on the light.  The prompt to take action is the dark room.   The traffic light turns red and you stop.  The red traffic light is the prompt.  You see a commercial for a pizza and you pick up the phone to place a pizza order.  Yep – the commercial is the prompt to take action. 

Without a prompt, we have no reason to act.  A prompt, or cue, is necessary for all types of behaviors -- those actions society has labeled as “good behaviors” (like drinking our daily goal of water), those labeled as “bad behaviors” (like eating a pint of ice cream), and those behaviors we view as more neutral (like flipping on the light switch).

It’s important to remember that when we want to change our behavior, we must add a prompt if we want to add the behavior (or take away the prompt if we want to remove the behavior). 

Fogg identified a brilliant way to create a prompt from actions that are already consistent in our lives.  We simply identify a behavior that is fixed into our routine and insert a habit after that behavior.

Here’s a “recipe” to help you get started:  

After I (existing routine), I will (new habit you want). 

For example, each morning, I turn on my hot water kettle to make tea.  So now, after I press the button on my hot water kettle, I close my eyes and take 3 deep breaths.  (Then I celebrate and I’ll save this important step for a future blog.)    

Here are some examples of recipes, which may further help in explaining this concept:

·      After my feet hit the floor in the morning, I will say “It’s going to be a great day.”  (This is one of Fogg’s favorites.)

·      After I start the coffeemaker, I will do one push-up against the wall.

·      After I turn on the shower, I will find one thing I like about my body.  (Do you struggle with this one?  Your body has an amazing ability to do so many things.  It can heal a cut, get you from one spot to another, allow you to work, to play, to breathe, to think, to use nutrients for cell repair and energy, and so much more.  Our bodies are amazing!  Try choosing something your body can do, not necessarily how it looks.)

·      After I pull in a parking lot, I will choose a space far from the door (to allow me to get more steps!).

·      After I hang up the phone from a stressful call, I will close my eyes and take three deep breaths.

·      After I put my dishes in the dishwasher, I will wipe off the counter.

·      After I put the kids to bed, I will send one encouraging text to someone.

·      After I get in bed, I will read one scripture.

“Debbie”, you say, “I notice some of these things are ridiculously small.  Do one pushup against the wall?  How can that possibly help?”  Great question.  That’s the beauty of the Tiny Habit method.  I’ll talk about why small actions work in a future blog.  For now, make your action so small that you’ll do it even if you don’t feel like it.  We are trying to create the habit.  Interestingly, when done correctly, it will “maximize” on it’s own!

Take a minute now to write down three recipes you’d like to try this week.  Then practice them a few times to get out all the kinks.  For example, your recipe might be “After I turn on the coffee pot, I will write one thing I’m grateful for.”  Once you practice, you might find it’s best if you have a journal or notebook specifically for that purpose and you put it, along with a pen, beside the coffee pot.  If you have to go searching for paper and pen, you likely won’t follow through.

Let me know what three habits you decide to create and what recipes you decide to try.  I’d love to hear from you.

Here’s to your health!

What if it's the "Process" and Not Motivation That's Keeping You From Creating New Habits?

You’ve tried over and over to create a new habit, like exercising daily, eating more veggies, or drinking more water.  But it seems like you just can’t get anything healthy to stick!  You feel like a failure when it comes to creating good habits, so you simply give up.

What if the problem isn’t you but is your process, or the way you are going about making those changes?  According to B.J. Fogg, research scientist, Stanford University professor, and author of the book, Tiny Habits, it’s not you!  Wow, what a relief!  All these years, you thought you were lazy and unmotivated.  That’s simply not true. 

According to Fogg, when motivation, ability, and a prompt (or cue) come together, that’s where the magic happens.   But what if you just can’t find the motivation to take the action?  That’s where Tiny Habits come in. 

When you are lacking motivation, simply downsize your action.  Motivation and ability (or ease of doing the action) work hand in hand.  When motivation is high, you can do difficult things.  When motivation is low, making your action easier will help you follow through.  And when you follow through, you feel better and more successful about yourself.  And when you feel successful, your motivation increases.  And nothing increases success and motivation more than – success and motivation!

The bottom line is --

breaking down actions into small steps can be

the difference

between success and failure. 

I had a client who (before we started working together) wanted to get healthier.  She decided drinking 50 ounces of water a day was a great place to start.  

On Day One, she got out her dusty 16-ounce water bottle and filled it.  She got that bottle down but not much more.  The next day, she was only able to drink about half the bottle of water.  It just seemed like such a chore for her!  By Day Three, she decided if she couldn’t even drink 16 ounces, she knew 50 ounces was out of the question.  She decided drinking water wasn’t for her and she quit all together.  Sound familiar?

When we start a new habit, we tend to feel like we have to “go big or go home”.  That often sets us up for failure. 

When my client told me her story, we made a “water goal” for the smallest amount she knew she could drink, while still making it meaningful for her.  She knew without a doubt she could drink 8 ounces a day and that was a meaningful amount for her.

Guess what happened?  On the days her motivation was higher, she drank more, but she knew she only had to drink 8 ounces.  Suddenly, it wasn’t difficult anymore.  Drinking 8 ounces was a breeze and she felt like she was getting “extra credit” if she drank more.  By the end of the second week, she was consistently drinking 32 ounces and had made this a new habit in her life. 

I’ve seen a big connection between success and motivation in my clients.  When they have success, they are motivated to move forward in ways they never had before. 

Try choosing a behavior this week that you want to do.  Break it down into the smallest step you know you will do, but make sure it still has meaning for you.  Play around with it.  Have fun and be curious. 

Remember that creating a habit is not about willpower — it’s a skill. 

Don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t work the first time.  You would never expect to play the piano without first learning how and practicing, right?  So treat habit creation the same.  Learn how to create a habit successfully, then practice, practice, practice.

Stay tuned for a future blog about the “prompt”, or cue, that is the third part of the Tiny Habits magic.

Does this seem too overwhelming?  If so, click here to schedule a free session to help you move toward that new and healthier you.

Let’s change together!

How To Take Action When You Don't Feel Like Taking Action

Hey there!

I’ll be honest.  I didn’t want to sit down this morning and write a blog.  Just didn’t want to.  So many other things have been calling my name today but I realized I really want to share.  As a matter of fact, I didn’t want to do my workout either.  It made me think of something Hal Elrod (author of Miracle Morning) wrote about how to do something even when you don’t feel like it. 

There are so many times in our lives when we make a commitment to do something, but when the time comes to do it, we don’t follow through.  I made a commitment earlier in the week to write a blog today.  I made a commitment months ago to work out on certain days.  But when it came down to it this morning, I just didn’t feel like doing it.

Have you ever had that happen?  You have a goal to do something … you decided in advance to do it -- like exercise, drink water instead of a soda, or take time to plan your meals – but when the time came, you just didn’t do it.  You weren’t motivated.  You weren’t energized.  You just weren’t moved to do the thing you had planned to do.

There’s a difference between wanting to do something and feeling like doing it. 

When you want to do something, you’ve made a plan or a goal to do it.  This is not a “spur of the moment” decision.  You’ve thought this through.  You know a certain action will benefit you and take you to that life that you really want.  You know you’ll feel better and be able to shed a few pounds if you move your body more, drink more water, and eat a few more veggies … so you decide you’re going to do those things.   

Feeling like doing something is more “in the moment”.  I planned to get up and exercise, but when the time came this morning, I didn’t feel like exercising.   Any time we create a new goal, we’re generally excited about it at first, but then the newness tends to wear off.  This is when we need to dig in and produce some “grit” (as my grandmother used to call it).  But how do we do that?

When the “feel-like-it” time comes, you have two choices … either you do it … or you don’t.  That’s the bottom line. 

But how do you get yourself to do the things you want to do …

even when you don’t feel like it?

You’re in luck … I have three great tips!

1.     Take extreme ownership.  You are 100% responsible for YOU. Take responsibility for what’s rightly your responsibility.  You may feel exercise isn’t fun or eating healthy is boring or drinking water is so drab.  So I ask this question … whose responsibility is it to make exercise more fun or to make eating healthy less boring or to make drinking water less drab?   It’s to our benefit to take 100% responsibility for every single area of our life, whether it’s our health, our finances, our relationships, our career, or our spiritual life.  It’s OUR responsibility!  If we find ourselves blaming our situation on something else … the government, our spouse, our kids, the economy, our boss, the weather, or whatever it is … then it’s time to step back and examine what responsibility we’re taking for ourselves.   

I had a client whose parents both died from diabetes-related complications.   She was diagnosed with diabetes shortly before we started working together.  Instead of saying “Diabetes is genetic and I’ll never be able to live a normal life”, she decided to take responsibility and take actions so she would be healthier.  She knew her unhealthy lifestyle was contributing to her diabetes.  By the time we finished a 90-day program together, her A1C levels were back to normal without medication.  She would never have been able to do this if she blamed other people or her circumstances for her situation.

When you blame your circumstances on external factors, you give away your power and motivation to take action.  On the other hand, when you take responsibility, you have the power and motivation to make a change, and in my client’s opinion, it was a change that she believe saved her life.

And it’s important to remember … the degree of responsibility you take for your life determines the degree of the power you hold to change your life. 

2.     Turn off your thinking and turn on your actions.  Author and motivational speaker John Maxwell says “you can act your way into feeling long before you can feel your way into action.”  This is more powerful than it sounds.  This morning, when I didn’t want to do my workout, I just turned off my thinking and took one small step toward my goal.  I got out my weights and yoga matt.  And guess what?  Since nothing causes momentum more than … well … momentum, I turned on my video and before I knew it, I was finished with my workout!

When we don’t feel like taking action, what often happens is we talk ourselves out of it. 

Don’t give yourself time to talk yourself out of it.  Just do it.

You know you want to do “the thing”, right?  It’s going to move you closer to that person you want to be.  So don’t even think about it.  Just take action, even if it’s a small step.

3.     Condition your mind.  The third thing we can do is to condition our mind, over time, to think more positively.  Our mind is our most powerful tool.  But it’s the most destructive as well.  As a matter of fact, our thoughts are probably the most powerful thing that affect everything that happens to us … whether good or bad.  Our thoughts trigger emotions and feelings that influence our actions.   Are you an emotional eater or do you know one?  That’s a great example of our thoughts triggering our emotions, thus influencing our actions.

If we don’t harness our thoughts, we’ll be influenced by other people, the news, negative self-talk, and the emotions these things produce.  You want to choose the thoughts that best serve you.  If you think damaging thoughts, it will create a destructive mindset, which will create emotions that can cause you to make decisions that are not in your best interest. 

Where your thoughts go, your actions flow.

On the other hand, if we control our thoughts, no matter what’s going on around us, we’re in control of what’s going on inside us.  And the more we’re in control of what’s going on inside us, the more likely we are to take action … even if we don’t want to. 

There you have it, my friends.  The three tips that will help you take action when you really don’t want to are:  1)  take ownership of your life; 2)  when you’re starting to talk yourself out of taking action, turn your mind off; and 3) condition your mind to positive thinking.

I believe if you do these three things consistently, you’ll find yourself taking more action than you imagined.  And remember, be gentle with yourself and don’t expect to have all these actions harnessed immediately.  It will take time and that’s ok.  Just move forward one small step at a time.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with not being able to take action, then click here to schedule a free, no-pressure call to come up with a step-by-step plan on how to move forward.

Let’s move forward together!

Can Goldilocks Help You Stay Motivated?

You’ve often come up with goals and aspirations for your life, but you’ve found that coming up with them is far easier than coming up with a plan -- and even more difficult is following through.   It’s easy when the motivation is high, but after the inspiration wanes, follow-through becomes much more difficult. 

For example, take that diet you were so excited about.  You were able to follow through for a few weeks, then your motivation faded and it became a distant memory in the past. 

Then there was that time when you decided to drink eight glasses of water a day, only to realize a few weeks later that you don’t know what happened but you sure weren’t following through with that goal either.

Why is it that some people can set a goal and follow through and others struggle the entire way?

Well, it could have to do with Goldilocks.  Whaaat?  Goldilocks?  “What does she have to do with it?” you ask.

We’re all familiar with the story about the little girl, Goldilocks, who goes into the house of an unknown owner, only to find three bowls of porridge on the kitchen table.  After tasting each one, she found one was too hot, one was too cold, but the last bowl of porridge was “just right”. 

According to James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, “just right” goals and action plans are a major key in maintaining motivation and that the Goldilocks Rule states that “humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities.  Not too hard.  Not too easy.  Just right.”

He uses playing tennis as an example.  If you love tennis and want to play a serious match, playing with a four-year old may not be your best bet.  You’ll quickly get bored because it’s too easy.  On the other hand, if you play with a professional tennis player, you’ll quickly lose motivation because it’s too difficult. 

Now, consider playing someone who is more matched to your skill level.  You win a few points and you lose a few, but in the end you have a chance of winning.  But you really have to try.  You become really interested in what you are doing, your focus narrows and suddenly the distractions outside the court no longer matters.  You find yourself fully invested in winning the match.

This is an example of what Clear calls the Goldilocks Rule.  You’re motivated because you are right on the edge of your ability.  It’s not too hard and not too easy.  It’s just right.

How can the Goldilocks Rule help you maintain peak motivation?

Remember, research has shown that we experience peak motivation when we’re working on tasks that are right on the edge of our current abilities.  Not too hard.  Not too easy.  Just right. 

This week, identify a good habit that you’ve started or a habit you want to start.  Maybe it’s drinking more water, getting more exercise, or taking deep breaths when you’re stressed.  Then, increase your effort just slightly -- to just the right amount for you.  Not too much.  Not too little.  Just right.  Make it challenging, but not so easy that you don’t have to work at it.

Then, each week look at that area and readjust so you are making “just right” choices.  Stacked on top of each other, these “just right” choices will lead you to that life you’ve always wanted.

What is your Goldilocks Habit that will move you forward?

Let’s do this together!

"Limiting Beliefs" That Keep You From Losing Weight

You’ve tried everything to lose weight and nothing seems to work.  It’s like you really want to become that healthy, slender, and energetic “you” that you know you can be, but something is stopping you from getting what you want and from being who you want to be.  And no matter what plan you put in place, it never seems to work.

Does that sound familiar?  If so, what may be holding you back is something called “limiting beliefs”.

So just what are limiting beliefs, where do they come from, and what do they have to do with losing weight?

Great questions! 

Let’s start with defining “beliefs”.   According to a Psychology Today article about limiting beliefs, “Beliefs are our brain’s way of making sense of and navigating our complex world.”  Beliefs allow the brain to take complex information around us and categorize and evaluate it so we can quickly process it.

Beliefs are a little like habits in that we automatically use them to conserve energy and be efficient in our thinking process.   When we believe we can or can’t do something, we don’t have to use our brain’s energy to make that decision.  It’s already made.

Beliefs come from experiences we’ve had in the past, sometimes at a very young age.  They get reinforced over time and eventually we start to believe them as being true.   The thing is … they may not even be true, but they stick, even when they are false and don’t serve us.  They are really good at limiting our actions and ability to move forward.

For example, I had a client whose uncle once told her she would never be able to lose weight because some people are naturally thin and others just aren’t so lucky.  He told her that weight is entirely dependent on genetics and she didn’t get the good genes.  She believed her uncle’s theory and being obese became a way of life for her.  

Another client, had tried several weight-loss plans over several years and got frustrated when she could never lose weight and keep it off.  After several similar experiences, she began to tell herself that losing weight was too hard.

All of us have been in situations where our beliefs have limited us from taking action to get what we want in life.

examples of limiting beliefs.

As I’ve worked with clients, I have seen the following limiting beliefs surface time after time: 

1.     I have to starve myself in order to lose weight.

Like many other limiting beliefs, this one can keep you from trying new methods.  Remember that it’s not all about starving yourself.  There are many tasty options -- and you can make small habit changes in other areas that can help you shed those pounds.   

2.     Losing weight is too hard.

One of the things clients mention again and again is “When I started working with you, I thought it would be too hard.  But this process makes it so easy!”.   When you take small steps and turn them into habits that last, suddenly, losing weight is more “a way of life” than “hard”.  Check out my free “Essential Weight Loss Jumpstart Guide” ­here to come up with some small, easy steps to move you forward.

3.     It’s impossible to stay in shape after getting married and having children.

I had a client who has four children between the ages of 6 and 13.  When she first came to me, she had the limiting belief that she couldn’t lose weight after having four children.  She had gained 40 pounds since getting married and was unsure as to whether she could lose the weight and keep it off.  Much to her surprise and delight, she has lost 32 pounds and has kept it off for over a year.  In her words, “Going through the process of realizing this was a limiting belief, that it was not serving me, and coming up with a new belief made all the difference in helping me move forward.”

4.     My bones are too big.

I told myself this for years.  And truth be told, it’s a lie.  But I believed it!  I’m almost 6’ tall so it was easy to believe, but it simply isn’t true.  When I took ownership and changed my belief, I was able to get and stay within my ideal weight. 

5.     I’m not athletic and don’t want to go to the gym, so I can’t lose weight.  (Oh … and to be seen in spandex?  I don’t think so!)

It’s often easy to think we have to go to the gym or be athletic in order to get in shape.  There are so many other ways to be physically active.  Find something you like to do.  Try swimming, cycling, running, gardening, hula hooping, dancing (even alone in your living room), or taking a walk.   Be creative.  Find something you enjoy and just move!

6.     Some people are naturally thin.  Others aren’t so lucky.  (Or, being thin is genetic): 

This is very similar to the “big bone” assumption.  If we believe our circumstance is predetermined, it makes it so much easier to give up without even trying.   Sometimes we look for a reason not to take action.  Anyone can be physically in shape if they take the proper action. 

7.     Why try?  I always gain it all back.

You’ve heard the saying “it’s not about weight loss, but about a lifestyle change”, right?  Sometimes that sounds a little scary.  Who wants to commit to a “life” of change rather than a few months?  Once you take small steps to create habit changes, though, the “lifestyle change” just falls into place.  When we think of lifestyle changes, we think of BIG changes.  Let the BIG go.  I like to say, “Small hinges swing big doors.”  Small habit changes can make a “lifestyle of a difference”!

8.     I can’t afford to be healthy.

Being healthy is actually less expensive than being unhealthy.  And generally, healthy food options are less expensive than junk food.  But the real expense savings is in your medical bills.  Normally, when you’re healthy, you have less doctor, prescription, and overall medical bills in the long run.  

9.     It’s not that important to be in good physical shape.

Of course it is!  We want all the energy, confidence, and positivity that a healthy lifestyle can give us.  It’s been proven over and over that if you don’t make time for your health, you’ll be forced to make time for illness.

Did you recognize yourself in any of those?  Or maybe some other limiting beliefs came up for you.   That’s great!  Because the first step to letting go of limiting beliefs is to identify them. And just a side-note …  you may have a lot of limiting beliefs.  That’s ok and in fact, it’s quite normal.  So be gentle and non-judgmental with yourself.    

So how do we let go of these limiting beliefs?

First, take a few minutes and brainstorm on some things you think might be limiting you from losing weight or getting in shape.    You can do one of three things:  write them down (my favorite), say them out loud, or simply reflect on them.

After you have your limiting beliefs, ask yourself, “What if the opposite were true?”   In this step, we’re coming up with an empowering belief.

Here’s an example: 

Limiting Belief:  Exercise is hard, boring, something to be endured, tedious, and a necessary evil! 

You could definitely find the evidence to support that … yoga might be viewed as boring and cardio class could be viewed as hard. 

Now, let’s come up with a new belief.   Ask yourself, “What if the opposite were true?” or “How can I make this more empowering?”. 

You might come up with, “What if exercise is a tool to create a healthy, strong, and fit body that allows me to have the energy, confidence, body, and health so I can have the life I love?  What if exercise is a gift I give myself?”

See the difference between the two alternative ways of looking at exercise?

Next, take out a pen and paper and write down some of your limiting beliefs (or say them out loud or reflect on them).  Then answer the question “What if the opposite were true?”

Each time you think of that limiting belief, recite your new, empowering belief. 

Everyone lives with limiting beliefs whether we know it or not.  These beliefs come from experiences we’ve had in our lives and they get reinforced over time. 

The first step to changing those limiting beliefs to empowering beliefs is to identify them.  Second, simply come up with an empowering belief to replace your limiting belief.  Be kind and gentle with yourself throughout the process.

Enjoy this powerful tool that can help you create and instill empowering beliefs to support you in reaching your weight loss and health goals.

Here’s to empowering beliefs!

Three Things You Can Do to Get Out of a Rut

A client recently told me a story that really made me think about my life. 

She said that in the early days of automobiles in this country, there was nothing but dirt roads.  When the dirt roads became laden with rain, vehicles traveling those roads would leave ruts.  As the roads dried, the ruts became firm and compacted and it was so easy to move into the same rut a previous traveler had made.  Giving good advice to travelers, signs were erected that said “Choose your rut wisely.  You’ll be in it for miles.”    

I suspect some of these ruts were deep and getting out of them would be difficult at best.  “Choose your ruts wisely”  -- what great advice! 

This story made me think of the ruts in my own life.  What ruts have I gotten into … just cruising along, not paying attention or not realizing I’m even in a rut?  I’ve realized that ruts are easy to fall into … and difficult to get out of.

This story also made me think about how the ruts we get into are related to the habits we have created in our lives.

Exactly what is a “rut”, why do you fall into them, and what does it have to do with habits?

I’m glad you asked!

A rut is a habit or pattern of behavior that no longer serves you, but is difficult to change.  It could mean something different for each of us, but basically, if you feel like you need or want a change in your life and aren’t living to your potential, you may be in a rut.  Many of my clients have used this term to describe the hum-drum life they’ve created – just going through the motions and not really living the life they dream about living.

There are many reasons we fall into ruts.  Here are a few realizations my clients have had about why they’ve fallen into ruts:

1)   It’s easy not to think about what we’re doing or the habits we’re creating.  We live on autopilot, just living day to day and not truly thinking about what we really want in life.  Falling into a rut is just plain easy.

2)   Our brain rewards immediate results over long-term results.  For example, it’s easier to watch Netflix than to do a daily workout.  The immediate result is not sweating or not taking action.  The long-term result, though, is not getting what you want in life.  So, creating habits that best serve us in the long run isn’t natural for us.  It’s something we have to work at.

3)   We don’t realize the consequences.  Often, we just don’t know the horrific effects of some of our actions.  For example, the consequences of not making daily exercise a habit is massive.  It’s been proven that exercise prevents health issues down the road such as heart disease, diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, osteoporosis, depression, balance problems, and a host of other problems.  But we’re not thinking of those consequences when we’re binging on Netflix.

4)   We get into other people’s ruts.  Sometimes we create habits based on what we have learned from others.  This reminds me of a granddaughter who was always adamant about cutting off both ends of a ham bone before baking it.  When asked why, she said her mom had always done the same.  When her mother was asked, she said that her mother had always cut the ends off so she did what her mother did.  When the grandmother was asked, she simply stated “my ham wouldn’t fit into my pot”.  We often adopt other people’s ruts and habits without really thinking whether or not they serve us.

5)   We’re too busy or don’t know how to go through the process of thinking about what is truly important to us and how to make the changes that will give us the life we want.

How can I get out of my rut?

It’s not always easy to get out of a rut.  Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how motivated we are, we feel trapped and just don’t know what to do.  Here are three easy steps to help you get out of your rut and move you closer to that life you love.

1)   Own your rut.  Take responsibility for the decisions you’re making.  We sometimes tend to blame others for our situation, but that takes away our power to change.  If it’s someone else’s fault, then that person has to fix it. Once we take responsibility for our choices, we are more empowered to take action to change it.  Once we take a step back and think things through, we’ll likely realize we have what is needed to get us back on the right track to pursuing the goals that inspire us. 

2)   Take action to get out of the rut.  Just one small action can put you on the road to getting out of your rut.   Your action could be anything from drinking a glass of water to doing 5 sit-ups.  One tiny step can help jumpstart your life and move you closer to where you want to be.

3)   Ask for help.  Reach out to someone you trust will maintain your best interest.  Often getting a different perspective from someone who won’t judge you is the best step to take.

Remember not to criticize yourself or minimize your feelings if you’re in a rut.  Be easy on you.  We’ve all been there!  It’s easy to dismiss your “rut” feelings and make them seem trivial.  You might think, “I have a great life” or “I don’t have a right to feel this way when everyone else is suffering.”  But these thoughts can keep you trapped in your rut.  While things may be “fine” as they are, if you’re not satisfied, it’s time to make a change and regain your glow.

Think about your ruts.  Know that you have choices.  If you choose not to eat healthy, exercise, and drink water, then you could be choosing to be in a “health rut”.  If you choose to spend more than you make, you’re choosing to be in a “financial rut”.  If you choose to scroll social media instead of focusing on your kids, you’ll likely find yourself in a “relationship rut”.   

Our actions determine our ruts. And remember that it’s easy to fall into a rut and it’s difficult to get out.  Choose your ruts carefully.  You may be in the same rut for a while.

Let’s do this together!

PS … Are you in a rut and don’t know how to get out?  Click here to schedule a free 60-minute session with me.  This no-pressure session will help you determine your ruts and give you some clear action steps to get you on the right track and that will give you the life you’ve always wanted.

Calm Your Body and Mind

Hey there!

 Debbie Hawkins here to share with you my two favorite and super easy ways to calm your body and mind throughout the day in order to make space for more energy!

 But first why am I talking about calming your body and mind?

 We all want to have more energy, right? We all want to feel so great that we leap out of bed with healthy smiles on our faces … ready to greet the day with excitement.

 But how can we even get this energy boost without first making space for it in our bodies and minds?

Good question!

Think of calming your body and mind as if it’s like tilling the soil and planting the seeds before they sprout with abundant energy — like magic bean stalks that reach for the sky! Because that’s all you will be doing here—making space for new energy to flow!

So what are my 2 easy ways to calm your body and your mind?

●      STEP 1: Put both your feet firmly on the ground, sit up straight with your shoulders pulled back to open your heart, close your eyes and take ten full, DEEP breaths in and out… in and out… in and out.  And focus on your breath moving through your nose while you’re doing this.

When you open your eyes NOTICE how different your body feels. Do you feel calmer? Clearer? More relaxed?

 Well that was STEP 1! Now that you have calmed your body, are you ready for STEP 2? Don’t worry… its just as easy.

 You’ve heard of positive affirmations, right?

 Well I believe they actually work! Why? Because your body is not going to do what you tell it to do unless your mind believes it first! (Or you trick your mind into believing it.)

 ●      STEP 2: Think of a short, sweet sentence that I like to call your motivational MANTRA so that you can instantly become your own energy-boosting guru.

 Here are some ENERGIZING examples to get you started:

·      I choose to feel energized!

·      I breathe in energy and exhale stress!

·      I am committed to energizing myself!

 Choose one that resonates with you, change up the words, or write your own. Now, write it on a sticky note and put it on top of your computer or bathroom mirror. Then read it or memorize it and say it out loud to yourself six times today and just watch what happens.

 How will calming my body and mind give me more energy?

 Let me put it this way… water will not flow well through a pipe that’s blocked. Similarly, your energy is not going to flow well if you’re all tensed up, agitated, or on guard.

 So, with STEP 1, you are learning to quiet your mind, calm your own nervous system and SAVE energy for you to use later when you really need it!

 And with STEP 2, you will be amazed with the results over time if you say your mantra over and over again. You may even find that by the end of Day One your mind will start to believe it and your body will follow!

 Why? Because that’s the way our minds work! They start to believe what we tell them to believe. It really is that simple.

 What do I do now?

 If you’ve had enough of trying to get through your day with low energy, then click here now to schedule a time to talk with me about other super simple ways to boost your energy.

 I will help you come up with more easy ways to calm your body and mind that are just right for you so you can live each day with tons of new energy!

To your health!

All or Nothing

Do you struggle with the “all-or-nothing” syndrome when it comes to your weight and your health?  Either you’re “all in” doing everything quite nicely -- or you’re eating everything in sight while watching Netflix! 

 I had a client call me one Monday morning feeling sad and depressed. 

 She had a great week of eating healthy and practicing all kinds of good habits.  Then on Friday night, she and her husband had ribs, mac and cheese, and beer for dinner and topped it off with ice cream, none of which she had intended to eat.  She told herself she deserved it because she had been so “good” the previous week.  (Sound familiar?)

 That simple act of eating several things she hadn’t intended to eat sent her on a downward spiral of regret, judgment, and physical exhaustion.  This spiral was so destructive, it became impossible for her to start her healthy habits again.  So, she continued to eat, drink and be “not so merry”.  And once she was at the bottom of the spiral, it took her days to recover.

 She went from doing a lot of healthy, positive, wonderful things for herself, to “complete devastation” (in her words).   In just a few hours, she had undone all the good she had accomplished the entire week before.  Worse yet was the story she told herself, which was “I’m a failure.  I’ll never get this so why bother.”

 What a weekend she must have had, with probably a ton of emotions (guilt, frustration, regret)!  And emotions can do crazy things to us.  I see this in clients a lot.  Ok -- let me be honest -- I see this in ME too!   

 If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.  You feel like you’re doing great, then BAM!  Suddenly you’re going down this crazy rabbit hole ... with emotions ... and eating ... and not moving your body ... and not drinking water ... and dwelling on crazy stuff you shouldn't be.   

 So how does the “all-or-nothing” syndrome work?

 One scenario is when we’re doing so great with our habits (we're all in), then have one slip up and all we can think about is the slip up and not all the good actions we took, then we just give up (nothing).  See how this translates to "all-or-nothing"?

 When I have a slip-up, I try to say "Hmmm, I wonder why I did that" instead of something like "I'll never get this.  Why even try!".  Then comes the important part -- I tell myself it's ok and I'll do better the next time.  It's been proven that people who forgive themselves tend to continue healthier lifestyle habits in the long run.

 One more thing that I've found helpful is that when I know deep inside that I'm going to have ribs or ice cream and there's no way of talking myself out of it, instead of fighting it the whole way and feeling guilty, I give myself permission to eat it (this goes for chocolate too by the way) – then -- another important part -- I savor and enjoy every bite.  I eat slow and chew every bite ... a lot ... and enjoy the taste, texture, smell, and look of it.  When we "fight" it, stress is created in our bodies and when we have stress in our bodies, we tend to hang on to fat.  (Gulp!)

 When you feel stuck and have “fallen off the bandwagon”, try taking one small positive step, then celebrate that you’ve done something positive.  Here are some ideas to get you “unstuck”:

·      Drink a glass of water.

·      Take a 5-minute walk.

·      Do a few stretches.

·      Get some fresh air.

·      Get some movement playing with your pet.

·      Take a few deep breaths.

 Then always -- always celebrate what you’ve done.

 Bottom line ... be kind and patient with yourself and celebrate your wins.  Give yourself permission to not be perfect with your weight-loss journey.  Breathe, savor, and enjoy.

If you haven’t downloaded my free Weight Loss Jumpstart Guide, click here!

Here’s to your health!

Three Questions To Motivate and Inspire You to Make a Habit Change

Hey there.

 Have you ever thought about how your life is a measurement of your habits?   This includes all areas of your life.   Your weight and health is a measurement of your eating and exercise habits.  Your net worth is a measurement of your financial habits.  Your knowledge is a measurement of your learning habits.  Your clutter is a measurement of your cleaning habits.  And you can bet on one thing for certain --

 --you get the same results if you repeat the same habits!

So unless you start making habit changes in the areas where you want to make life changes, you’ll always end up with the same results. 

 The quality of our lives depends on the quality of our habits.

 What is one area where you’d like to make a change?  Physical?  Spiritual? Financial?  Relationships?  Your career or purpose at this point in your life?  (By the way, I call these the “Big Five”.  More on those in a future blog!)  Choose one small habit change in that area that you’d like to incorporate into your day.

 Perhaps it’s 5 sit-ups a day.  Or making daily time to journal/read/pray.  Or maybe you want to think about spending 15 minutes a day – or even a week -- learning about financial habits (and implementing them, of course). 

 Whatever you choose, remember to keep it small and move forward every day.  If you’re not moving forward, you’ll eventually be moving backward. 

 Here are three questions you can ask yourself to help you come up with an area in which you’d like to change.  Perhaps these questions will inspire and motivate you to determine some actions as well.

 1.     Think about your life in 5-10 years or maybe even 20.  What did you miss out on because you did not make a change? Recognize what your lack of good habits has cost you and what they will continue to cost you.

2.     Think about that future you – that you in 5-10 years.  What advice would that future self tell you about the area in which you’d like to make a change?

3.     Consider yourself a year from now and consider that you haven’t made any changes.  What actions would that future you wish you would have taken?

 Are your habits putting you on the path to success?   Change those habits and the success will follow.

 Here’s to your health!

Which Wolf Will Win?

I recently read a story about a Cherokee elder who was teaching her granddaughter about life.  I’d like to share my version of the story with you:

 “There is a fight going on inside me,” the grandmother said to her granddaughter. 

 “It’s a terrible fight and it’s between two wolves.” 

 “One wolf is bad, lazy, and constantly indulges in harmful habits.  She has an unhealthy body, mind, and soul and is full of negative self talk, self-loathing, not believing in herself, scarcity, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, lack of discipline, fear, procrastination, judgment of herself and others, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies (especially to herself), false pride, superiority, and ego.”

 “The other wolf is good, productive, and has created great habits to move her toward who she wants to be.  Because of her good habits, she has established a healthy body, mind, and soul and she loves the life she has created.  She’s full of positive thoughts, joy, peace, hope, kindness, serenity, humility, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.  She’s patient and kind to herself and is constantly learning and improving all areas of her life.  She’s disciplined, practices curiosity over judgment, and constantly works to eliminate limiting beliefs in her life.”

 “The same fight is going on inside you and inside every other person, too.  One wolf will win and one wolf will lose.”

 The granddaughter thought about it for a minute and then asked her grandmother, “Which wolf will win?”

 The wise Grandmother simply replied, “The one you feed.” 

 I love this story.  It can be applied to all the areas of our lives. We can never completely rid ourselves of the first wolf.  Unfortunately, she will always be there. 

 But we also have this untapped wolf-hero inside us just waiting to be freed. 

 Both wolves will always be a part of our lives – in our emotions, behaviors, habits, and in all aspects of our lives.  The fight between the two wolves is unending.  But we have a choice as to the wolf we feed.

 It’s often difficult to know where to start feeding the good wolf.  Or sometimes we might feel like the bad wolf has already won the battle. 

 But when I’ve felt that way in the past, what I found was that I could take the doubts, bad habits, lack of discipline, and regret and let those things fuel me into moving forward.  That’s how I learned how to feed the second wolf.

 When I didn’t want to drink water, I drank 4 oz. anyway. When I found myself procrastinating, I took one tiny step forward.  When I found myself focusing on the negative, I found one thing to be thankful for.  Just one small step can give you momentum.  And nothing feeds momentum more than … well … momentum!

 Often, the first wolf can paralyze us, causing us not to take action.  When that happens, we’re feeding that bad wolf.  When we don’t take action, we eventually move backward.  That makes the first wolf even stronger. 

 Taking action, regardless of how small, is what feeds the second wolf. 

 Remember that it’s easier to feed the first wolf because the options that feed her are the easier options in life.  It’s easier to sit on the couch rather than do 5 sit-ups during the commercials.  It’s easier to run by McDonalds and get a burger and fries than to cook a healthy meal.  And it’s definitely easier to scroll through Facebook than to take the kids for a walk.

Make a decision today to feed the wolf that will move you toward the life you want and that you deserve.  Take one tiny step toward developing daily habits that will make your dreams a reality.

 Click here to check out my free Essential Weight Loss Jumpstart Guide to get tips on feeding the wolf that will move you toward your goals.

 Here’s to your health!

What is a Growth Mindset and What Does it Have to Do With My Weight?

One of my clients, Jessica, is 20 pounds away from her ideal, healthy weight.  She believes that since both her parents were overweight that she will never be able to get to her ideal weight because she believes she’s been handed an “overweight gene”.

Another client, Nicole, is 38 pounds from her ideal healthy weight (almost twice as much as Jessica) and both her parents have been overweight their entire lives.  Both are diabetic and Nicole recently got the news that she’s also a diabetic.  Nicole, however, believes that if she works hard and is willing to step out of her comfort zone, she can get to her ideal weight.

Which client do you think will reach her goal? 

Well … hopefully both, but with the mindset that Nicole has, she’s more likely to reach her goal weight sooner … and continue to maintain it.  It’s been proven over and over again that our mindset, or what we believe about something, determines our ability to follow through.

Henry Ford once said “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”  Ford was on to something! 

Mindset guru, Carol Dweck, says there are two mindsets:  the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.  Someone with a fixed mindset believes what the talents and abilities they were given in life is “fixed” and can’t be changed. 

On the other hand, someone with a growth mindset believes they can build upon what they were given to make it better.  Based on many studies noted in Dweck’s book, Mindset, the person with the growth mindset is the person who will be more likely succeed in their endeavors. 

From my perspective and from what I’ve seen with my clients, it all comes down to hard work.  The person with the fixed mindset doesn’t believe hard work will make a difference.  After all, they believe they can’t change the outcome because the outcome has already been handed to them.  The person with the growth mindset, however, is willing to work hard to improve all areas of their lives.  

Having said this, keep in mind that we don’t just think in terms of one mindset or the other.  We generally have a mixture of the two.

We can have a fixed mindset in relationships and believe we shouldn’t have to work hard … that it should come easy if it’s meant to be.   And at the same time, we can have a growth mindset in our health, believing that we can achieve our goals regardless of the circumstances we are in … if we work hard enough. 

These two different mindsets can be manifested in many areas of our lives.  In her book, Dweck applies these two mindsets to intelligence, leadership, sports, relationships, and parenting, among other things.  I believe it can be applied to health, wellness, and weight loss as well.

“So Debbie”, you say.  “This sounds great, but how can I change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset when it comes to my weight and health?”   Great question.  Let’s dive in!

I believe the Number one thing we can do is to realize that hard work is key to making lasting changes.  It doesn’t have to be so difficult you won’t follow through. Take small steps and you’ll be amazed at how far you can go.  (Check out my free Essential Guide to Jumpstart Your Weight Loss for tips on taking small steps on your weight-loss journey.)

Here are some other things you can do to develop more of a growth mindset.

·      Be willing to step out of your comfort zone.  You may not be used to drinking more than a few ounces of water a day.  But water is so important in weight loss and general health.  Since you know this, go ahead and make the decision now to get a little comfortable being uncomfortable.

·      Believe you can.  Remember what Henry Ford said … “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”  Your mindset largely determines whether you will succeed at something.  So whether you have 20 pounds to lose or 200, believe you can and you’re half way there!

·      Open yourself up to growth.  Look for opportunities to change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.  Exercising a growth mindset is like exercising a muscle.  The more you use it, the stronger it gets.  Work toward building your “growth-mindset muscle”.

·      Commit to doing things even when you don’t want to.  I can’t stress this one enough.  If what you’re doing now isn’t working, then change up what you are doing.  If you don’t want to work out, then go small.  Five minutes is ok.  Oftentimes, the hardest part is deciding to do something, so make the commitment now.  Then take on Nike’s motto and “just do it”!  Nothing feeds momentum and growth like momentum and growth.

·      Once you notice a fixed thought, reframe it.  This has been -- and still is -- important in my journey to a more growth mindset.  I catch myself thinking “fixed” thoughts every day.  Things like “I’ll never be able to learn this” or “I can’t do a full pushup”.  When you find yourself using the word “can’t”, try adding the word “yet” to the end of your sentence.  So now I say “I can’t do a full pushup yet.”   It’s a much more powerful statement and motivates me to work hard to improve because now I believe I can eventually do a full pushup.

So the bottom line is that we all have a mixture of fixed and growth mindset thoughts and working toward a growth mindset will help you in so many areas of your life. 

Be ok with stepping outside your comfort zone and looking for opportunities to change from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.  Commit to doing things even when it’s not comfortable to do so and add the word “yet” to your “can’t” statements.

If you do these things, I believe you’ll notice a difference in your outlook and ability to live that life you’ve always wanted to live.

Let us know in the Facebook comments ways you’ve found to incorporate a growth mindset.

Here’s to your growth mindset and to your health!

"Done" is Better Than Perfect

Often when we want to start a new habit, we look at someone who is already successful and try to imitate their strategy.

 Sometimes this is useful.  Learning from others is a great way to accelerate our own learning curve.  After all, that’s how we learned most of our habits -- habits like brushing our teeth and turning on a light switch.

 But it’s important to remember that the systems and strategies those successful people use today probably weren’t the same ones they used when they started forming those good habits.

 Their strategy may be much more complex than the strategy you need to start your journey.  When we set the bar too high, we either don’t start or we start, only to stop a short time later. 

 When we compare ourselves to others who are further along on their journey, it’s easy to convince ourselves that we need to learn one more thing or buy one more gadget or research one more subject before we start.  Those things might be nice, but they often stop us from following through.

 I had a client who decided she wanted to drink more water.  She had seen a friend’s water bottle and wanted to get one at a sports store exactly like her friend’s.  But with COVID-19 and limited hours, the store wouldn’t be open for two more days.  She mentioned waiting until she got the bottle to start.  When she realized it wasn’t necessary to have a fancy water bottle, she was able to start (while we were on the phone) by drinking a glass of water.  By the way, this client has up-leveled her water intake and other habits consistently and has lost 28 pounds during the pandemic!

 Another client was ready to start increasing muscle mass but wasn’t quite ready to go to the gym due to COVID-19.  If you tried to find weights during the first 3-4 months of the pandemic, you know they were difficult, if not impossible, to find.  She felt she had no option but to wait until she could find weights.  We talked about ways to increase body mass without weights and she was able to start that day.

 Both of these clients realized that they were making excuses that were preventing them from doing the hard work and moving forward with the things that really mattered in their lives.

 Starting is generally the most difficult part of habit change.  I’ve often heard that the heaviest weight in a gym is the front door.  I encourage you to open the front door to all of your habits by starting small and avoiding that strife for perfection.  There will be a lot of room to up-level later.

 I like to say that “done” is better than perfect.  You can always improve after you’ve started.  But you can never improve if you never start. 

 So here’s to drinking one cup of water without a water bottle and doing one pushup or sit-up without the perfect workout equipment.

 Start small, be consistent, and know you can up-level later.

 And remember … “done” is better than perfect.

 Here’s to an awesome 2021!

Rewrite Your 2020 Story

The tidal wave of historic moment after historic moment that 2020 has brought us has been astronomical.  It’s been exhausting to try to keep up with everything.  We’ve gone through more events this year than I could even begin to mention here … from the death of Kobe Bryant, to political and social unrest, to the recession, to the death and destruction of Covid-19 … and that’s just a drop in the bucket! 

 I believe that not only will 2020 go down in history, but it will have books written solely about it.

 When your grandchildren … or great grandchildren … are in their 20’s and they ask what it was like during 2020, what story will you tell them?

 Will you focus on the negative?   Or will you celebrate all the good that you experienced during the craziness of 2020?

 Well … guess what?

You get to choose!

That’s right!  You get to choose the story you tell your grandchildren and you get to choose the story you tell yourself now.   It’s up to you whether you focus on the positive or the negative. 

 Did you know that when you focus on the negative, you will develop a negative outlook that will make things look a lot worse than they really are?  That negative perspective will make it much more difficult to stay focused on all the good things in life, as well as on your goals and dreams.

 And when you focus on positive outcomes and living your best life, then your life will seem easier and a lot more enjoyable.

I would encourage you to think about the 2020 events as things that are happening for you instead of things that are happening to you?  Perhaps something in your life needed a boost or a change and something in 2020 led you, in some way, to a better life. 

 Maybe gaining the quarantine fifteen helped you realize you are ready to make some changes in your health.  Or maybe playing outside with your children helped you realize how important exercise is to their wellness and happiness.  Or maybe spending more time with your spouse deepened your relationship.  So many good things have happened in 2020. 

This year has brought a lot of change in our lives.  Change isn’t always easy, but when we’re forced into it, we often look back with appreciation for the transformation we made.  Can you find and focus on the positive changes that this year brought you?

 What do you want to be known for?  Being defeated by your circumstances?  Or do you want to be remembered for being victorious in spite of the events that surround you? 

 Remember …. defeat or victory …

you get to choose!

Happy 2021 to you and your family!

Here’s to your health!

Debbie

P.S.   Oh … by the way, if you haven’t already, grab my free Essential Guide to Jumpstart Your Weight Loss here!