A client recently told me a story that really made me think about my life.
She said that in the early days of automobiles in this country, there was nothing but dirt roads. When the dirt roads became laden with rain, vehicles traveling those roads would leave ruts. As the roads dried, the ruts became firm and compacted and it was so easy to move into the same rut a previous traveler had made. Giving good advice to travelers, signs were erected that said “Choose your rut wisely. You’ll be in it for miles.”
I suspect some of these ruts were deep and getting out of them would be difficult at best. “Choose your ruts wisely” -- what great advice!
This story made me think of the ruts in my own life. What ruts have I gotten into … just cruising along, not paying attention or not realizing I’m even in a rut? I’ve realized that ruts are easy to fall into … and difficult to get out of.
This story also made me think about how the ruts we get into are related to the habits we have created in our lives.
Exactly what is a “rut”, why do you fall into them, and what does it have to do with habits?
I’m glad you asked!
A rut is a habit or pattern of behavior that no longer serves you, but is difficult to change. It could mean something different for each of us, but basically, if you feel like you need or want a change in your life and aren’t living to your potential, you may be in a rut. Many of my clients have used this term to describe the hum-drum life they’ve created – just going through the motions and not really living the life they dream about living.
There are many reasons we fall into ruts. Here are a few realizations my clients have had about why they’ve fallen into ruts:
1) It’s easy not to think about what we’re doing or the habits we’re creating. We live on autopilot, just living day to day and not truly thinking about what we really want in life. Falling into a rut is just plain easy.
2) Our brain rewards immediate results over long-term results. For example, it’s easier to watch Netflix than to do a daily workout. The immediate result is not sweating or not taking action. The long-term result, though, is not getting what you want in life. So, creating habits that best serve us in the long run isn’t natural for us. It’s something we have to work at.
3) We don’t realize the consequences. Often, we just don’t know the horrific effects of some of our actions. For example, the consequences of not making daily exercise a habit is massive. It’s been proven that exercise prevents health issues down the road such as heart disease, diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, osteoporosis, depression, balance problems, and a host of other problems. But we’re not thinking of those consequences when we’re binging on Netflix.
4) We get into other people’s ruts. Sometimes we create habits based on what we have learned from others. This reminds me of a granddaughter who was always adamant about cutting off both ends of a ham bone before baking it. When asked why, she said her mom had always done the same. When her mother was asked, she said that her mother had always cut the ends off so she did what her mother did. When the grandmother was asked, she simply stated “my ham wouldn’t fit into my pot”. We often adopt other people’s ruts and habits without really thinking whether or not they serve us.
5) We’re too busy or don’t know how to go through the process of thinking about what is truly important to us and how to make the changes that will give us the life we want.
How can I get out of my rut?
It’s not always easy to get out of a rut. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how motivated we are, we feel trapped and just don’t know what to do. Here are three easy steps to help you get out of your rut and move you closer to that life you love.
1) Own your rut. Take responsibility for the decisions you’re making. We sometimes tend to blame others for our situation, but that takes away our power to change. If it’s someone else’s fault, then that person has to fix it. Once we take responsibility for our choices, we are more empowered to take action to change it. Once we take a step back and think things through, we’ll likely realize we have what is needed to get us back on the right track to pursuing the goals that inspire us.
2) Take action to get out of the rut. Just one small action can put you on the road to getting out of your rut. Your action could be anything from drinking a glass of water to doing 5 sit-ups. One tiny step can help jumpstart your life and move you closer to where you want to be.
3) Ask for help. Reach out to someone you trust will maintain your best interest. Often getting a different perspective from someone who won’t judge you is the best step to take.
Remember not to criticize yourself or minimize your feelings if you’re in a rut. Be easy on you. We’ve all been there! It’s easy to dismiss your “rut” feelings and make them seem trivial. You might think, “I have a great life” or “I don’t have a right to feel this way when everyone else is suffering.” But these thoughts can keep you trapped in your rut. While things may be “fine” as they are, if you’re not satisfied, it’s time to make a change and regain your glow.
Think about your ruts. Know that you have choices. If you choose not to eat healthy, exercise, and drink water, then you could be choosing to be in a “health rut”. If you choose to spend more than you make, you’re choosing to be in a “financial rut”. If you choose to scroll social media instead of focusing on your kids, you’ll likely find yourself in a “relationship rut”.
Our actions determine our ruts. And remember that it’s easy to fall into a rut and it’s difficult to get out. Choose your ruts carefully. You may be in the same rut for a while.
Let’s do this together!
PS … Are you in a rut and don’t know how to get out? Click here to schedule a free 60-minute session with me. This no-pressure session will help you determine your ruts and give you some clear action steps to get you on the right track and that will give you the life you’ve always wanted.